This week's TMI Tuesday prompt is five things....
The problem with in me in five words is...
... I respond to things haphazardly
It means if you want to love me you need to put up with the Brownian Motion of my emotions and sensitivities. Some days I am tough as nails, others touch and sound and light sensitive; can carry on quite unaffected in an emergency and will be too fragile to talk to on a normal day... sometimes in the course of an hour or two. This must be more exhausting to live with than to live in.
...I want in life
- my kids to grow up happy, healthy and accepted for who they are
- to be accepted as an equal when I meet with professionals even though my status is currently just "mum"
- to be able to manage my own autism enough to get by without relying on others all the time
- to have family time and couple time without either suffering
- to be able to explore my boundaries
...I need to quit
- worrying about things I cannot change
- deprioritising exercise
- sleeping late in the morning
- making excuses
...I require in a lover
- a firm hand
- a willingness to use me as I need to be used
- someone who understands this is a journey and my needs may change over time
- support in my vanilla life as well as in my bedroom
...I am tired of
- being told I will get thin if I give up "x" food
- being told my autism can't be bad because I manage to look and act "normal" in most circumstances
- feeling second rate in my own sex life because I don't find my body attractive
- not having time for .... well, insert practically anything here
- feeling I need to hide my submissive tendencies to protect myself in the real world
...I will never reveal on social media
....never say never... but, I talk about my children... so I need stay behind my screen name to give them their right to privacy
... access to my bank account
...nope... that's it.