Tuesday 24 April 2018

TMI Five things

This week's TMI Tuesday prompt is five things....

The problem with in me in five words is...

... I respond to things haphazardly

It means if you want to love me you need to put up with the Brownian Motion of my emotions and sensitivities. Some days I am tough as nails, others touch and sound and light sensitive; can carry on quite unaffected in an emergency and will be too fragile to talk to on a normal day... sometimes in the course of an hour or two. This must be more exhausting to live with than to live in. 

Five things...

...I want in life

  • my kids to grow up happy, healthy and accepted for who they are
  • to be accepted as an equal when I meet with professionals even though my status is currently just "mum"
  • to be able to manage my own autism enough to get by without relying on others all the time
  • to have family time and couple time without either suffering
  • to be able to explore my boundaries

...I need to quit

  • worrying about things I cannot change
  • procrastination
  • deprioritising exercise
  • sleeping late in the morning
  • making excuses

...I require in a lover

  • patience
  • a firm hand
  • a willingness to use me as I need to be used
  • someone who understands this is a journey and my needs may change over time
  • support in my vanilla life as well as in my bedroom

...I am tired of

  • being told I will get thin if I give up "x" food
  • being told my autism can't be bad because I manage to look and act "normal" in most circumstances
  • feeling second rate in my own sex life because I don't find my body attractive
  • not having time for .... well, insert practically anything here
  • feeling I need to hide my submissive tendencies to protect myself in the real world

...I will never reveal on social media

....never say never... but, I talk about my children... so I need stay behind my screen name to give them their right to privacy
   ... access to my bank account
            ...nope... that's it. 

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