Food for thought Friday: Dare to Bare

 These days, when the temperature is tip-toeing into the 20s and the sun strokes your skin...

At home, when I can, I like to go without clothes. That's not often unfortunately as I have kids to embarrass and in home care staff. Today though, the kids were out at lessons with the staff I could sort the washing and tidy the bedrooms while the lovely sunshine shone through the windows. God, it felt good.

Outside I am equally relaxed. In the peace of my own garden I am happiest in the buff. We have one of those little spa pools, and summer evening, about 10pm, I will shed my clothes in the kitchen and tiptoe out to soak under the stars.

Not in public though... last time I went topless on a beach was fifteen years and four babies ago. I love swimming in the sea, and thought nothing of shedding my tankini top to go snorkelling. My fiance was shocked. The thought that I might be ok baring all came as a bit of a surprise to him. I pointed out the beach was full of very minimally dressed young ladies, but they were not me. My boobs were just for him. Apparently.

We were much more vanilla and straitlaced in those days and now much less so. Just me and him on a beach, no problem. Last week a topless photo for Sinful Sunday. He was so proud when a picture of a rope bikini he'd created received kind comments and completely unworried by displaying it on my body.

Now, I just have to worry about traumatizing my children!

This sort of comfort in my body is very important to me because my body isn't the type you normally see naked in the media. Definitely not built for speed. But it's what I've got and I can either be ashamed or make peace with bits overstretched by multiple pregnancies and a few other medical issues.

It is a body capable of some wonderful things. Orgasms... mine... and sometimes, if he's lucky, my husband's. It's made and fed children and in the process went from a C cup to an F. Oops.

In public, I am usually modestly dressed. Neck to ankle. Mostly draped in jersey as I'm a bit touch sensitive. But I am always naked in that I don't wear knickers except on very special occasions (last time my best friend took my on an impromptu shopping trip I had to stop and buy knickers before I could try anything on). I love the naughtiness and the comfort. I love that no-one could guess when they walk past me in the supermarket, sit next to me in church or face me in a professionals meeting at school. It is a little bit of rebellion in a very normal package.

Nakedness doesn't necessarily turn my thoughts to sex, but access to my own body, access to someone else's, does. I love to touch skin with skin. I love to be touched. Love heavy touch.

Love the way sun feels, like a warm stroking hand, heavy on my skin.

Not so reticent about stripping off anymore.