Thank you Jenny for a meme to get me started with the million thank yous and superlatives that need to be said. From the Chevron tights (you know who you are) and a particular brave Canadian (who introduced himself when I am pretty sure he could see the fear in my eyes at walking through the door) who were the first to look after me at Friday night's Meet and Greet to all the other warm and friendly people who helped me through bouts of Autism induced anxiety at meal and coffee times by just talking to me so I had a focus. And listening when I waffled.
So, from Eroticon I take away...
- A guilt free mind,- it is easy to call yourself open minded if you never share your opinions and Eroticon was obviously going to put that to the test. Living in a safe little corner of the world surrounded with people who don’t share their opinions about controversial subjects was non- challenging. I was so unbelievably relieved to go to the pub and talk about the mechanics of threesomes as a normal thing, to regret not getting to the ropes talk, to already have a list of things I would love to try or listen to in the future. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions, but right now, I resolve to keep testing myself and my unconscious and socially embedded prejudices towards sex and gender by finding opportunities to be positive and inclusive in all my interactions, linked to my writing, my kinks or my wider family and community.
- A Christmas and Birthday list for the next couple of years at least,- I haven’t had many spare pennies for sex toy shopping in the last couple of years, but the gorgeousness on offer from several of the sponsors was just too much to ignore. Some of the shopping will happen from home as time and pennies allow… but this often seated lady is craving a little extra pleasure, and some beautiful Ceramics and Silicone. And the practical side of me has already visited Sheets of San Francisco simply to help with the clean up.
- A fantastically strong line up of blogs to read,- I have only occasionally dipped around on the net however this D/s life was one I read from time to time. Wow. Wistfully. Without realising it was a blog (since I lived under a social media black-spot). Life was busy without trying to make room for the complete wider reading available on the internet. But now… I want to read everything. Everyone. Speakers and delegates.
- An understanding of the power of erotic writing and sex blogs to change the circumstances of others. Emily Rose talked wonderfully about sex and disability and Enhance UK as a place of positivity and advice. I missed Jasmine talking on people of colour, but I have read what many attendees said about her talk and felt embarrassed that coming from a very white area of Britain none of this had occurred to me, other than inter-racial being a specialist option in categories of erotica (which I always thought was a bit weird).
- A reminder fantasy writing is imagination and therefore valid whoever writes it. Bit of a note to self, this one, but if everyone took away that message all to the good. That doesn’t mean it can’t be good, bad, or mediocre (Oh, Brad!)… but whether it was Victoria Blisse encouraging us to use our senses, Malin James on preserving the power of every word, Rachel Kincaid to explore the broad potential of non hetero-normative erotica (and taking that further into the dark and hissingly disturbing),or DrMeg-John Barker teaching us to know ourselves through our writing, it was all fantastic for the writer in me, not just the over-excited kinky bit.
- A strong desire to be branded,- and yes by that I mean hot metal- and tied up. That will be the over-excited kinky bit. Thing is, I’m a bit sick of my inner me being completely anonymous on my body just so I still fit in with all the other mummies on the school run. Tattoos have never appealed beyond a desire to create something on my blank canvas. And watching Gryph working a couple of willing models was achingly fascinating.
- A blog and thanks to ILB’s informative and funny 102 hopefully some ideas on what to do with it. At the moment the problem is not sitting waiting for the muse, but shutting the bitch up so I can actually leave my computer
- A twitter account -thank you @sexwithrose Now all I have to do is work out how to use it…properly…with links and stuff…you know, just on the off chance someone might read it…follow me…
- A better appreciation of myself as a strong, confident, sexy, kinky person,- I have a fantastic partner, but sometimes, I feel guilty to admit, I don’t trust that he is not an aberration: when he tells me my writing is good; when he tells and shows me just how much he appreciates my kinky side. I have come back feeling empowered in my writing, in my kinks (not just decorative, blushing admissions to make me “authentic” but real desires whether tried or untried) and in myself.
- New Connections,- too young to be friendships yet, but I hope maybe at some point some of the wonderful people I met this weekend might just consider me a friend.